wish list

dear i-dont-know or maybe-i-do,

Life is beautifully confusing. it boggles my mind. I felt very confused today after reading blogs on religion, ways to eat and ideas and suggestions on how to live your life. I felt driven and drove away by the egos. I don't want my ego to run my life. I want to be humble and happy to be me. I feel sort of obsessed with eating at the moment, to the point it puzzles me and i want to focus on other things. In the past, my ego grew bigger with the finding of raw foods.  I love learning about nutrition but I would also like to be a well-rounded person and develop other interests too. I'm looking into running, dancing, painting and reading to keep some variety in my life. I am sure my friends think I am obsessed with fruit! It could be worse and it's not a bad obsession considering it's what sustaining my life. It would make sense to put importance on this.

I feel best when I go jogging on an empty stomach, come back and eat some fresh melon. That's pretty much equals coffee to me. I have so much energy and I feel so refreshed. It's amazing what high-water fruits can do for you! Also, skin brushing is amazing too. I usually do it before a shower but I've been working out so I've been doing it after lately.

Yesterday I drank sugar baby watermelon juice all day. I felt so good. So light and happy.

Today I ate:

a pear smoothie

some almonds

lettuce wraps with tomato, avocado, walnuts, bananas, a little salt & agave (i haven't had it in so long)

cantaloupe smoothie

another lettuce wrap

I ate a lot today.  I eat less when I eat more high-water fruits.

I'll have to go out to our farm and pick some more fruit from the fruit trees.

I'm so excited that I have belly dancing class tomorrow as well as yoga. I think I'll work out for two hours in the morning and two hours in the evening as well :)

Life keeps getting better. I am glad I am choosing to be happy and I feel happy most of the time! I want to ask the universe for so much but I am so grateful for where I am right now! It's quite a miracle to me! So much has happened in one month and I am feeling healthier and cleaner everyday!

Carry on.

I tried posting this picture I did on a previous post but it was too large. Mediums: pencil and makeup palette.

I met with this guy named Enrique and he is going to teach me to paint and told me I could make some money selling his artwork at the farmers market and making canvas for him!

By: Marina Mendez (me!) 
circling around
cap and gown
veil and corset 
your busy mind
rest yet
more less
less more
who's keeping score
this way to your heart
this way to your soul
who the hell was i
if i never let go
selecting love 
over dreams
an envelope 
of sunshine
peeking through
the trees.
home creeps around
the bend of the bright-eyed
city in the back of your head
opinions fall to ones standing tall
matter minds to those who care.
surely you don't mind if i take 
a deep breath
to rearrange the day and night.
half smiling
skipping stones
past the joneses'
but you're a lot like they were.
a dreamers teeth
do chatter and grind
sign of the times
wanting drives the day
a moment of time slips away
broken
woken in a deep sleep
moving on with a wordly view
of something you never knew.
circling around
cap and gown
veil and corset 
your busy mind
rest yet
more less
less more
who's keeping score
this way to your heart
this way to your soul
who the hell was i
if i never let go
selecting love 
over dreams.

Yesterday I just did not feel like myself. Lawrence came over. I've been spending the last few days with him. I feel I need to distance myself from him. It's a constant cycle that never ends that I never really feel happy about. He has really changed and has helped me a lot over the last few days but I feel lost from myself when I am in a relationship with him. It's hard to ignore that when I am spending time with him.

I went to the massage school and did a tour. I was so excited about it all and then I just didn't feel excited. There wasn't even a good reason to not be. I felt kind of depressed and filled with anxiety yesterday. I don't know why I let these emotions bother me. I always think emotions have some kind of intelligent meaning when a lot of times they create problems and nonexistent issues. I need to learn how to handle my emotions and not label myself with these emotions.

Am I anxious? Am I sad? No. I am none of these things. I am not emotion.

I just felt kind of restless. I seriously felt like running down the street screaming. Hannah felt the same way. She said she felt like that today too. She said she felt like her soul just wanted to come out of her body. We agreed. John Mayer's "Bigger Than My Body" explains it all. I always want to know why I feel like that at different times.

Yesterday I didn't do so well as a fruitarian. Lawrence and I went to this new Mexican restaurant and I ordered the guacamole.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it had sour cream in it. Also I over did it on the tortilla chips. Ate a lot of cashew butter and bananas. I need to stop eating cashew butter! Sometimes I crave it but it does make me kind of sluggish. "I made a bitchin' smoothie" haha as Alison would say.  It was cantaloupe, kiwi and mango smoothie. I had to use a little almond milk because I didn't have any filtered water. It was so good!! I feel much better on smoothies and mono-meals. Why don't I just eat that from now on?!

After my emotions fell down in the gutter I went to Pita Pit and got a hummus pita and chips. I guess it's better than going out and drinking because that's what I felt like doing. I was in a really weird mood. I felt wild, crazy and depressed at the same time. 

I walked to The Fish Tank by myself and listened to the band The Fresh. They were pretty good. It felt strange to go to the bar by yourself but also liberating because I don't do many things by myself. I kinda liked it. I didn't have to call anyone up and depend on them to go. I didn't drink which is great. I felt very independent and proud that I went there by myself. There were two old men that kept coming up and talking to me, trying to get me to dance. I just felt like sitting and enjoying the moment. I always dance but just felt like enjoying last night differently.

I feel kind of bloated today. Figures. I think i'm going to start with a melon mono meal and have smoothies the rest of the day.

I don't feel like eating today.

aww look at my little pug! he's the best!

the sun is shining brighter everyday

Last night we moved into our new apartment in downtown lexington. We still don't have a lot but I feel very optimistic and I plan to keep it that way. I felt safe in our new place and very calm in my new room. I woke up and put together our bathroom shelves. It took me four tries to get it right. The whole time I kept thinking about being placed in a room full of people, each one given the same task and racing to see who would finish first. I think I would lose just because for the simple fact I didn't really pay attention to the instructions. 

Janet came over and helped me put it together. It was such a pretty day in Lexington. I wish it was like this all year long! I think it really does make everyone feel better about their lives when we have wonderful weather. Hannah came over and we went and checked out her apartment on our street. It's alittle farther down but it's huge and a nice place. Our place is rather small but it's nice and we have a washer and dryer. It's good for me and Alison. Hannah and I went to the co-op  I got some natural toiletries, 3 bunches of bananas and some cashew butter. Oh, how I love cashew butter!! I ate so much of it last night. For breakfast I had cashew butter with bananas haha and a little agave. It was wonderful! I also had that for lunch too! I plan on eating bananas all day today and tomorrow. I found out at Walmart of all places, that I have stage 1 hypertension, which makes sense. I have the symptoms of feeling dizzy, anxiety, high blood pressure and shakiness. They say potassium helps it. So here I am. I've had 4 bananas today and I feel great. I also had some conventional strawberries. They tasted wonderful though.

Hannah and I took a walk down our busy city street. We are near everything! Rupp Arena, bars, clubs, ethnic food, cute shops, parks, yoga, massage, farmer's market. Everything is quite a miracle in my eyes. Everything seems to be evolving, it's just a matter of being patient and living in the moment. Melissa might be moving across the street from us. It's so weird how things happen. None of this would of happen if I went back to California. Life amazes me.

Yesterday I wrote a letter to the universe asking for so much. It almost makes me feel guilty but I shouldn't because I am part of the universe. I feel confident that it will all happen. Like I said, it's just a matter of enjoying the moment and giving it a chance to happen. I also picked up the secret. I started thinking about my life and the principles of the law of attraction. I'm not sure if I actually believe in it. Maybe to some extend but the things that I usually think of or the people I think of usually appear or happen when I am not focus on them. I mean I guess it has happened in weird circumstances where I have been thinking of someone and I see them or I am thinking of something and I see it. Who knows, all I know is I am happy where I am and I know great things are unfolding for me. I think I might write another letter to the universe. I am just so grateful for everything that has happened so far!

for dinner...bananas with cashew butter and cashew halves...bon appetit! 

So good news!

We got the apartment! It's even better now that we came back and looked at it a second time. It seemed even bigger than the last time. It have gray walls, it's in a huge historic house but our apartment is very modern, I got the big bedroom and I'm so ecstatic about decorating!

The landlord Gary was very laid back. Signing the lease was a breeze.

Alison's mom, Janet took me to TJ MAXX where we found all this awesome stuff for our kitchen.

We are going for an asian look in the kitchen and then a old vintage new orleans look in the living room. I'm so glad I won't have to buy pots and pans and everything that goes with it because I AM A FRUITARIAN! The benefits are ENDLESS! 

Alison is also sticking to raw foods so we will only need a blender, food processor and possibly a dehydrator down the line. 

I can't wait to decorate my room but I am still not sure exactly how I want to do it. I am kind of stuck between a tropical sea foam green-turquoise with wood accents or a moroccan theme with bright shades of orange and red. I think I am leaning towards the turquoise because it is calming and that's the kind of effect I want to have in my room. I remember watching "Uptown Girls" with Dakota Fanning and Brittany Murphy and I fell in love with Brittany Murphy's character's room. It looked kind of Indian/Moroccan. I'll have to rent that movie for some ideas. 

Anyways yesterday I felt kind of tired. I think right when I wake up I need to exercise. I feel so much better when I do. I have more energy!

Yesterday I ate:

3 bananas for breakfast

1/4 canteloupe for snack

1/4 canteloupe for lunch

1 avocado, 1/4 canteloupe, cashews, 2 bananas for dinner

some pineapple for dessert

I also had some cashew butter and kava tea.

I have had the worst luck with avocados lately. I am never eating conventional avocados again!!

I got 2 for a $1 at Good Foods Market and they tasted like metal. I opened 3 of them and they all tasted the same. It was quite strange. I also got a Slimcado which is an avocado with half the fat and it was a lot bigger. That tasted like mush. It was disgusting and then Alison got some avocados from Fresh Market, that were conventional as well, and it was horrible.

I also got some grapefruit from Kroger and it was disgusting on the inside. It was one of those grapefruit with hardly any juice and it tasted bland. All that produce wasn't organic. I'll have to see if my taste buds have changed or it's just the conventional avocados.  Today I'm going to go jogging and eat some juicy melon. It's like a  standard american diet's version of coffee but in my opinion feel so much better!

My ex continues to call and leave voicemails. I still haven't got a phone yet. My mom said she will be sending me her old one. He sounds really sad and hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him, I just need to let him go. It saddens me when I hear him convincing me to call him. I will eventually but now is just not the time. It's so easy for me to change my perspective back to "I wanna be in this relationship" perspective. I feel like everytime I am with him I regret seeing him. I told Alison that our relationship is a lot like food "You know how you snack on something just because it's there but afterwards you feel like a pig for it and feel remorse afterwards? That's kind of how my relationship with my ex is". I know it's harsh but it's so true. We have nothing in common. I know he cares and wants to help me but I also feel like there's another chance to get close again and I want to be on my own and away from the relationship. I will tell him that eventually. Until then I am enjoying life to the fullest!!

raising myself

sunday 26th

So today I made a raw walnut/date pie with blackberry jam sauce. It was so easy and all with a blender! Everyone at the house loved it! They couldn't believe that the crust and filling was only walnuts and dates. I took some pictures but I'll have to wait to post them because I don't have the  USB cord for my camera at the moment :-( 

I would of loved to post them today in this post.

I went and made the epic journey to retrieve my verizon blitz cell phone at the crazy county fair I had lost last week. I thought I could just talk to the ticket taker at the gate and be on my way.

That wasn't the case. I showed up half dressed. dress on and in my L.L. Bean moccasin slippers.

People gave me looks and a girl made a comment "She's wearing comfortable shoes" to her significant other. That was all before I entered the gates of carni hell. I had to go to three buildings and ask the same question over and over again. The smell of funnel cakes and slimy hot dogs lingered in the air. It was actually quite sickening when the night I actually went to the fair it was slightly pleasant. I don't know why. After trekking across the grounds in my moccasins to the last office I gave up. On my way out another woman stopped me. She was sitting down eating a funnel cake. She said "Ma'am! excuse me!"  I could see her staring as I walked passed. "Are your shoes comfortable?" I just kind of pondered that question. I felt out of place but I also was thinking---WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

I just smiled and told her I lost my phone and I just came into the fair to get it. 

She nodded her head and looked like she thought I was insane and in awe of me at the same time.  Then Alison and I went to Walgreen's to get a few things for her. It's so funny going in there. I remember I loved going to drug stores and buy cosmetics, lotion, new hair products...etc. Now it just doesn't faze me. It's crazy how much advertising is made for just women. Women put all this unnecessary stuff on their body. More than men do!  

You see Halle Berry, Adriana Lima, Eva Mendes grace the advertisements above the toxic chemical waste that gets absorbed by our skin. Beautiful women promoting these nasty chemicals. If I were famous I would start my own organic makeup line and it would have wonderful ingredients. I ordered some foundation from this chick named Jenique from New York City. She makes raw, organic makeup. Everything is from the earth. It was amazing! best foundation I ever used and it lasted all day! It was really hard to break away from the commerical makeup trap I had myself in. I even wanted to be a makeup artist. I feel like I don't look right with makeup now. I haven't been wearing it since I did the master cleanse. I don't really feel like I need foundation now anyways. My skin is clear.

But never the less Alison got what she needed.

Haley* came to pick me up at the house. I made Alison, Haley* some celery, pineapple, banana smoothies and changed out of my infamous moccasins for flip flops. We went down to Natasha's Bistro to Drew's (one of Haley*'s friend's) going away party. As we were walking down there Haley* turned around and remembered her CD for drew she had put together (she's a singer) and right as she turned around this guy stopped at the light and asked if we wanted to buy his cd. A little weird right? We told him we didn't have any cash and he invited us to Common Grounds to hear him rap. Haley* and I pointed out the coincidence of this happening. She thought that every time we we're together something like this happened. Which is true. 

We went and sat down at Natasha's a lot of bands were playing that night. We talked to Samantha*, Drew's ex girlfriend, she works there. She's really nice. Very petite, seems very confident.

I admire people's confidence. 

Chris* showed up and was a total dick to Haley*. He's very intelligent. He's very creative. He knows exactly what to say to get in a girl's pants. But knows nothing about letting a girl down easy. But what 22 year old guy does I guess. Haley* got very upset. I could hear her thinking. I could see she was distraught over this guy who totally played her. We had to leave and come back because it hurt her so much. All she wanted to do was drink she told me. She just wanted to let loose. When we came back Haley* hunted Chris* down and he eventually gave in and talked to her. I could tell it made her feel a little bit better. She wanted his attention but she knew she didn't need it. He demands attention.  He eventually grew tired of the conversation and went for another round of beer.

We went out and talked to Adam* and Casey*. Casey* had been eyeing me all night. I sat by myself while Haley* was talking to some friends and I could feel his eyes on me. Haley* knows Adam* from working at a pita joint down the street. He quit awhile ago but always had a thing for Haley*. 

STOP! this is really starting to sound like a teen mini-series or something. okay, but i'll continue.

Casey* introduced himself. I could tell he just wanted to talk to me. He couldn't wait for me to introduce myself. He said I reminded him of a greek goddess of the ocean and called me goddess the rest of the night, telling everyone I was a goddess and compared me to Mya, the singer. I really didn't know what to think. Casey* was attractive. He looked younger than he was. He was 24 and he didn't look a day over 20. He was cute but at the same time he lacked depth. He said over a group conversation on music that the beatles sucked. I guess I didn't care.

I ended up drinking some of drew's wine and getting a buzz. We all went to McCarthy's afterwards. Haley*, Casey*, Adam* and I walked there. Haley* wasn't of age and actually gave the guy at the door her wrong birthday. A birthday that was 20 days before she would turn 21.

I guess he didn't realize it or didn't care. Obviously he didn't care and we walked on in.

I sat next to Casey* talking about eating raw foods, and LFO because for some reason that was what was playing in the background. Chris* walked around ignoring Haley*. She was totally bothered by it and it was obvious and Adam* was just in awe of her. I started to get alittle nervous for some reason and went and got some drinks at the bar for me, Haley* and Casey*. Casey* told me he had never had a girl buy him a drink. The only reason I did was because I had a ten dollar tab at the bar. I guess he felt flattered. I felt like he was being a little lame now. I have never seen a guy drink sex on the beach lol. 

 I got ripped off of two and was happy, giddy and dancing all over the place like a ballerina.

Haley* says I act more girly when I am drunk. Haley*, Casey* and Adam and I walked back to our cars but Casey* and I jumped into the fountain. I got the bright idea that we should all go swimming so we all went back to Gary*'s to go swimming at his pool. 

I was so happy drunk. More than ever. I was disappointed that I gave in and drank but I was so happy! Luckily I had my swim suit in my purse. I walked out of Gary*s apartment. All the guys eyes were on me. I liked that at the moment. I felt sexy, wanted. I knew I looked good.

We all went down to the pool with drinks in our hands. Adam* jumped in and so did Casey*, Haley* and I*. Gary* just watched. I can remember things drunk, I just can't remember what I've said sometimes. Casey* was starting to get sleezy in the pool. Asking if I had any tattoos of any kind. I told him no and he said he didn't believe me. He wandered farther away from all of us trying to lure me to him. I talked to Gary* for  awhile and finally Casey* grew tired of my games and told Adam* he wanted to go home. I didn't want the night to end, so I stopped him.

I went up to him and stood over him in the pool. He started feeling up my legs and then I got off. He told me I was a tease. I disagreed. Gary* agreed I was a tease. I asked Casey* what his tattoo meant. He told me it was a cross from his church. It was rather strange. 

He told me I was a tease again and I kissed him. He wasn't a bad kisser but he was a smoker and I could taste it on his breath. Still I made out with him. Ugh, what was I thinking. No more smokers and no more making out with guys that hate the beatles and are cute but sleazy. Ugh.

We ended up going back to Drew's place and hanging out over there. Casey* went to sleep and Adam*, Drew, Haley* and I stayed up til 8 in the morning.

Adam* took us back to our car around 9.

I felt so immature. Aw youth.

 

 

Wednesday 29th

today I woke up at 5 am with so much energy!

I went out and ran in the rain for 2 hours. I love running and listening to my ipod. 

I can just be me!

Then I ate half a cantaloupe. It was so good! So juicy! I love juicy fruit!

Later on I had 3 bananas. I am starting to not like bananas that much. I like juicy fruits a lot more. I'm gonna cut back on the bananas. I do have a craving for avocado though.

Then I cheated, I had two pieces of tofu and a date roll and later on today I had a spring roll...I felt guilty afterwards. :-?

Then I had golden 2 golden kiwi's.

Alison and I stopped at Whole Foods. I had no clue they had a hot bar and a buffet. Tempting but honestly it didn't look that great. The food looked like it had been sitting out waaay too long.  Alison got avocado, cream cheese, blueberry, carrot spring roll. 

I bought a nice papaya, a bag of avocados, a coconut and an Naked Juice Blue Machine.

I payed six dollars for an Naked Juice Blue Machine that I later found out was expired.

Silly Whole Foods...Silly Me. I also noticed it had a lot of added stuff to it. I think I am going to stop drinking those. I don't trust it. Just like I don't trust Burt's Bee's after Clorox bought them out.

I am so excited to be eating this way! It makes me feel unique and it makes me feel good. I have always loved fruit out of all things. I never thought I could just eat fruit and feel satisfied and I do! Even after a couple of days. I know I will lose a lot of weight which isn't my goal.  My goal is to feel beautiful, vibrant and healthy on the inside and for that to radiate outward. I have already went from a size 36 c to size 36 a. It's always the boobs that go first.

I just ate a whole tomato by itself. No salt, no pepper. Still tastes great!

Today we drove by my old house where my mom planted an organic garden. She planted fruit trees. They were really tiny but now they are huge and beautiful. We don't live there because my mom and her husband got divorced and she moved to California. No one has bought it yet.

We drove by and the fruit trees were full of apples and pears. Naturally, I had to stop and get some. A lot of the bugs had gotten to them and the good ones were at the top of the trees.  There were so many. I was so happy and thankful my mom planted them. What a blessing with all this going on. The house is so beautiful. It sits up on this hill with a nice cool breeze and has wonderful flowers, herbs and trees scattered through out the yard. It made me realize even after years of wanting to live in the city that I would actually want something exactly like this for myself. Okay, maybe somewhere warm all year round and I would definitely have to hire someone to at least mow the grass. 

I have been reading Mango the fruitarians blog. I love reading the interviews he does with other people and reading about the changes they have made with fruit. There was one quote of the ladies made in the interview that really stuck with me. I posted it as my status on my facebook. I always post quotes as my statuses. I love to help and inspire people. It was:

It's so simple --- when your choices support life around you -- the universe automatically supports the life in you. It is a mirror of intentionality.

This is so true. Beyond explanation. Today was a perfect example when I drove by the old house and saw all those amazing fruits just waiting for me. Why didn't I realize all that was there? 

There is so much around me. It's all there. I realized this the other day I went to the library with my ex to get books on organic farming, essential oils and just natural alternative health.

I broke it off with him and of course he wanted the books back and I was kinda upset I had to part with the books I was deeply involved with but it as I gave them to him and came back into the house, I looked at the bookcase and in the living room cupboards of Janet and Melissa's house. There were books on all the things I had checked out. Books my mom had given them and others they had collected along the way. I had no idea and it was right in front of my face!

Tons of books about organic farming, soil, essential oils, natural health. How could I be so blind. It was quite weird. 

Today we also went and looked at apartments. I got this weird vibe from this guy that showed up while we were waiting for the landlord to show up in his old gray volvo. He had his kickboxing gear with him, his sunglasses on. He seemed kind of hippyish, tall and quiet but I really thought he was attractive and intriguing. I felt connected to him some how. Which is funny because that's not my type. Well actually I don't really have a type come to think of it. He went inside and brought his dog out. His dogs name was Mischa. She was a pretty white dog. Looked a lot like a beautiful wolf. I let her nuzzle my face. I hope we move there. Just because of the fact we'd have a cute, mysterious guy around. Wonder if it would be worth the trouble.

I am so boy crazy, it's quite sad. I don't even need one around. I need to focus on me! ME ME ME!! Is all it needs to be right now. I need to keep reminding myself that. Thank you inner being. But oh god, there was something about him.

Setting Your Intentions

I intend to see more choices because I want to be the best person I can be and create wonderful new things! So exciting!

I intend to have joy radiate through my heart  because I feel wonderful when joy is in my heart and I can give it to others. Yay joy!!

I intend to have healthy relationships so that I might relate and shine my light on others and create wonderful opportunities.

I intend to have a closer connection to my source so that I can be strong mentally and physically.

I intend to work at Bluegrass Barkery this fall because I know it would be a great experience to have with raw food for dogs and for G and I could learn more about organic foods and I love the atmosphere.

I intend to work at Good Foods Co-op  and feel comfortable working at both places because I love the atmosphere and I deserve to work somewhere wonderful and would be great to learn more about health and wellness and apply that to my dream of opening a holistic center.

I intend to apply for the Lexington Healing Arts Academy Program and have it fully funded this fall because I want to spend my money on fun activities and to learn something that I can make money with during school and to strengthen my knowledge

In a field I will use in my holistic spa.

I intend to own a car by September of this year because I want to be able to travel from place to place. I want the car to work perfectly and to have an Ipod jack and have low-gas mileage.

I intend to find a fully furnished apartment with a friend that has a yard or a park near by

That is warm in the winter so that I can take G on walks and play with him because he deserves to get exercise and have fun.

I intend to decorate it in an feng shui/asian manner because I love the calming feeling it has on me and the spiciness to it! It is going to be great in my new home!!

I intend to go to Australia next summer with a friend because I love the beautiful landscape and the raw food people there and the wildlife

I intend to buy a dehydrator this fall and make eat 80% raw because I want to make lots of raw food! I am very excited about this!! Think of all the wonderful foods I can create!!!

I intend to feed G a healthy organic diet because I want him to be very healthy so that he might have the best life possible! I love him so much!!!

I intend to start making my own organic body care line because I love the feeling that I made these things and I know the ingredients and I can help people on a path to physical wellness!!

I intend to have my own spa business in 2011 because I want to have the first Holistic Center in Lexington with a spa, health café and with homemade organic skin care!!

I intend to try durian because I have heard great things about it and I have wanted to for a long time!

I intend to create a meet-up group for raw foodies so that I will meet others who love raw food in Lexington too!

I intend to wear mostly dresses from now on because I feel feminine and wonderful and beautiful in them!

I intend to do yoga more often and mediate because it calms me down and eases my mind

I intend to read more books because I want to learn more! Learning is exciting to me!

I intend to volunteer at a non-kill shelter and humane society because I love being around animals and helping them. Maybe I can even convince them to give them better food and convince the humane society to be a no-kill organization!!!

I intend to  paint in my new apartment and attend art classes because I think it would be liberating and wonderful to create with color and just let go.

I intend to take belly dancing, salsa,  and any other classes I find interesting because I love dance and I love the feeling of knowing how to dance and letting go of your inhibition once you have learned what  is needed…then your spirit takes over!

I intend to take the distant learning program through Global college for Master in Holistic Science so that I might learn as much as I can about Holistic health and begin building my dreams for a Holistic Center

I intend to travel to London, England Brussells, Belgium, Italy, Australia, Miami, Asheville, NC, Jamaica, Savannah, GA  all by the end of 2010 because I know I will love all of those beautiful places and it will open my mind

I intend to use my soul power and knowledge to create a confident feeling inside of me because I love feeling confident and secure with myself…it let’s me be me.

I intend to use the law of attraction more often and to learn more about it so that I might attract everything I want for the best life ever!

I intend to own exotic jewelry from all parts of the world because I love wonderful artistic jewelry it makes me feel unique and wonderfully different!

I intend to have an indoor garden in my house and grow herbs and fruits and vegetables so that I will have food year round and I can start making skin care products!!!

I intend to have thick long flowing curly hair because I love how it looks on me! I want it to be thick and long and beautiful and vibrant!

I intend to play tennis more often because it makes me feel awesome and confident

I intend to get massages every month and body wraps every month at Zian  Spa because I love being pampered and I deserve it!

I intend to pay off all my credit cards by September so that I will start fresh with my credit!

I intend to fly G back to Lexington to live with me in August so that he will have the best life with me! I love him!

I intend to get a blood test done in September so I can know what my body needs as far as nutrition goes.

I intend to use aromatherapy in my house and create my own fragrances because I love the aroma and I love mixing amazing scents and being tantalized by it all.

I intend to make lots of raw dishes and take pictures of them and share them with friends  because I love raw foods and I want others want to try them too!

I intend to find a guy that is incredibly funny, goofy, attractive, goal-driven, confident, well groomed, artistic, sensitive and amazing because that is what I want in a guy. I want to find my soulmate.

I intend to buy a juicer this September because I want to juice a lot of veggies and fruits! Pure health!!

I intend to have friends that are health conscious and down-to-earth because I want to have wonderful people around me!

I intend to feel confident and comfortable and knowledgeable in any situation because I live the best life ever and I give my soul and heart with joy in everything that I do!

I intend to become a dance within a dance company and travel in my late 20’s because I absolutely love Alvin Ailey and has inspired me from a very young age! I love dancing! I want to dance dance dance!!!!!

I intend to own amazing tribal antiques and beautiful colorful soul things in my home because the bring me closer to the world and would look lovely in my living room!

I intend to be creative and think creatively and above and beyond because I want to surprise myself and inspire others and bring life into whatever I do.

I intend to be in control of my emotional well being so that I might handle every situation with ease.